"Dear Sera,
I'm pretty sure people are going to call me stupid after reading this but I dont' know what to do. I love my boyfriend, and I know he loves me. And we have the most amazing times together. But when things go bad, they go really bad. I feel like he has no respect for me sometimes. He curses at me, tells me F U or other things just as bad. He calls me names like B!$%^ and whore and slut, even though he knows I've been faithful. He is an amazing person but he must have the worst temper and mouth in the world. What do you suggest I do?"
Technically, I should tell you leave him, he's a dirtbag and you need a man who respects you and treats you with love unconditionally. If he really loved you, he would never treat you that way. However, this day and age, good men are hard to find. I don't think there is one single relationship out there who hasn't dealt with this in some shape or form at least once. But this sounds like something that happens regularly. What you need to do is decide for yourself what your limits are. I can tell you there are other fish in the sea, you can find someone better but you'll really only listen to yourself. You have to decide how far you will let it go. Maybe you can talk to him, let him know what you're feeling and see if he is willing to change. If not, then you need to decide whether the love you have for him is worth your self respect. But I must say that this relationship doesn't sound healthy, and I would suggest leaving it before it crosses the line from verbal to physical abuse. Goodluck. - Sera
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sleazy, Sneaky Friend
"Dear Sera,
I've been with my boyfriend for a few years now and I trust him completely. The other day, he told me that one of my closest friends hit on him. That she asked him if he would have sex with her. It turns out that I was with her at the time she wrote this. She had asked me what to write him to mess with him but I didn't know what. But she never told me that that was the topic she picked. I do think it started as a joke but then she took it in a different direction. He showed me the texts and he had responded to it as a joke. But then she took it more seriously and he told her that maybe in a world where I didn't exist, to spare her feelings. ( I know he would never cross that line and especially not with her, he finds her ugly and doesn't like her that at all) I was a little in denial at first but then he showed me one where she told him to delete her texts, that he would get caught otherwise. He doesn't like her at all but she technically is my friend and I'm not sure what I should do. - Lisa"
Lisa, it seems to me that you have three options here, and they are up to you to decide which route to go.
- You could confront her and stop being her friend. ( My choice because who would want a friend like that)
- You could confront her and stay friends.
- Or you could ignore it and let it go if you feel that it was honestly a joke and she's a good friend ( though she doesn't seem like it)
But if it were me, I'd confront her and drop her because I wouldn't want a deceitful person in my life. Goodluck and let me know how it goes. - Sera
I've been with my boyfriend for a few years now and I trust him completely. The other day, he told me that one of my closest friends hit on him. That she asked him if he would have sex with her. It turns out that I was with her at the time she wrote this. She had asked me what to write him to mess with him but I didn't know what. But she never told me that that was the topic she picked. I do think it started as a joke but then she took it in a different direction. He showed me the texts and he had responded to it as a joke. But then she took it more seriously and he told her that maybe in a world where I didn't exist, to spare her feelings. ( I know he would never cross that line and especially not with her, he finds her ugly and doesn't like her that at all) I was a little in denial at first but then he showed me one where she told him to delete her texts, that he would get caught otherwise. He doesn't like her at all but she technically is my friend and I'm not sure what I should do. - Lisa"
Lisa, it seems to me that you have three options here, and they are up to you to decide which route to go.
- You could confront her and stop being her friend. ( My choice because who would want a friend like that)
- You could confront her and stay friends.
- Or you could ignore it and let it go if you feel that it was honestly a joke and she's a good friend ( though she doesn't seem like it)
But if it were me, I'd confront her and drop her because I wouldn't want a deceitful person in my life. Goodluck and let me know how it goes. - Sera
Birthday Party Pooper
" Dear Sera,
A couple of friends threw me a a dinner for my birthday and invited my closest friends. Two of them were fairly recent exes of each other. I wanted both of them there even though I know the girl didn't want to see the him. So I figured that I'd invite both and since it was for my birthday, they would understand and just be civil. I didn't warn the girl because I figured if I did she wouldn't show. Well, she ended up getting drunk, acted rude at the dinner table and stormed off. Later on, she text me F$%& you for having invited the guy. Now, I understand that maybe I made a mistake by not warning her, but I also believe she took it way out of hand. I wanted my friends with me on my night and I don't think that's to much to ask. Now she's all angry and says that I care about him more than her and all that jazz, which isn't true. What do you think? "
Honestly, I say dump the girl "friend." Yes, you might've made a mistake by not telling her that her ex was coming but it was for your night and she should've understood that. She obviously didn't care about you all that much if thats how she acted. You're better off without her. Hope that helps. - Sera
A couple of friends threw me a a dinner for my birthday and invited my closest friends. Two of them were fairly recent exes of each other. I wanted both of them there even though I know the girl didn't want to see the him. So I figured that I'd invite both and since it was for my birthday, they would understand and just be civil. I didn't warn the girl because I figured if I did she wouldn't show. Well, she ended up getting drunk, acted rude at the dinner table and stormed off. Later on, she text me F$%& you for having invited the guy. Now, I understand that maybe I made a mistake by not warning her, but I also believe she took it way out of hand. I wanted my friends with me on my night and I don't think that's to much to ask. Now she's all angry and says that I care about him more than her and all that jazz, which isn't true. What do you think? "
Honestly, I say dump the girl "friend." Yes, you might've made a mistake by not telling her that her ex was coming but it was for your night and she should've understood that. She obviously didn't care about you all that much if thats how she acted. You're better off without her. Hope that helps. - Sera
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